A widow has lost her husband. A widower has lost his wife. One often comes across how some foundation and some NGO donate relief materials to widows. But I have not come across where such charity gestures have been extended to widowers, men who have lost their wives. If you have I would love to hear about it. Secondly, is our society that damaged that once a woman achieves the status of a widow she immediately qualifies to enroll in the group of those needing charity? Please don't twist my words, this is in no way against the act of extending charity and benevolence to those genuinely in need (including widows). I am simply wondering how we have come bloc categorize widowhood to neediness. I think it is high time for some women (not all) to start making plans how to survive and maintain the home should the husband die before them. (Don't say God forbid; death is a permanent tenant of life.) Men too should make sure their wives are financially capable of maintaining the home should they die, and this starts right from the moment you are about to fall in love. Let's stop associating manliness with the practice of indulging a wife's inability to contribute to maintaining the home. No such thing as his money, my money. If many don't get this right your children will suffer and will be forced to indiscriminately drop their aza everywhere, or become runz girls and oloshos and fraudsters and kidnappers. The moment you marry, it ceases being all about either or the two of you. And of course, there are few exceptions to this: some are from such wealthy background that they practically don't need to lift a finger to contribute to their own upkeep. Happy weekend. PS: I am not certain what I would call someone who has lost a gay partner. Widow or widower?