Help!!! I Am Having A Very Deep Urge Of Commiting Murder!!!

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Insults and bashing is allowed also welcomed So I am having the urge of killing my mom's new tenant, by a name Ben(pseudo). So two weeks ago I traveled, I wasn't round and on coming back, I heard he's been looking for me and that he had something he wanted to give to me. Mind you, I am a graduate in petroleum engineering, I just finished service last year, and jobs wasn't forthcoming.. And as the first graduate in my family, being the 5th born..I see it a my sole duty to provide for my family and I'm always traveling for job interviews.. So this guy, Ben, collected a room in my dad's compound and unfortunately, the roof of the house he collected collapsed, and the money that he gave to my mom for the house rent, my mom squandered it. And she was helpless.. now this guy, became really friendly and close to my mom upto the extent that he started giving my mom money.. So when I returned a week and four days ago, I heard that he was looking for me and that he had something that he wanted to give to me, I was surprised because I never liked him and why would he want to give me something, and when he came, he saw me and he said that I should follow him down to okrika and that he wanted me to help him and run a business and that he was playing a meeting and he has intentions of giving me 300k and honestly, I was very happy and surprised at the same time.. at some point on the way to okrika I was scared, he promised me that I shouldn't be scared, that he just wants to go and collect money there and after that he promises to take me back home straight and that he has lots of things that he has to tell me.. I was like Okay, no wahala. Unknown to me, he had other intentions, after we went to okrika, he took me to the place that the meeting was being played, and unfortunately they said that he came late and he won't be able to get the money, till the following week,. We left and on our way home he told me that I should please endure with him, that he wants to branch his old house and pack clothes that he sunned outside as after the we would leave immediately and I thought he intentions were genuine and that I could trust him unknown to me, I didn't Know that, that was just another strategy of his to have his way with me. When we got there, he asked me to come down from the bite and have a sit inside his house, I was a bit skeptical and he said I could trust him and that he can't harm me, and I should please stop seeing him in such a bad light and I was like, it's Okay, I know you can't harm me and besides my mom knows you allot. With that, I went into his parlor, because his properties were already parked ready to be moved into the new house he has paid for, being ours. Before I could know it, he brought out his Mp and turned it on, putting the music in blast, and I stood up and asked him if he hasn't finished packing his clothes from outside, he said he was almost done and before I could know it, he slammed the door and forced me into the inner room, I have never been so scared in my entire life.. I was just begging him to please let me go, he refused, he threatened to kill me and if I didn't comply, would call his boys to have their ways with me, and if he kills me, he would bury me and no one would know.. God knows how scared I was, I fainted twice and the guy still didn't allow me to go and at the end, he raped me and that was it.. I couldn't tell my mom when I got home, because I wasn't the only person he has had his ways with.. Even my younger nieces, they told me after I opened up to the older one why I was gloomy and she also confessed the same thing too and that my mom knew about what he did to them but she couldn't do anything instead she keeps smiling and talking to the man Now for a week, he didn't branch our compound and two days ago, I saw him and he was just smiling and going his business, I really really want to end this motherfucker's life, real bad. I plan on having a rematch with him, and this time, I'll either spike his drink and slit his throat, get myself a gun, it's not that expensive to get a gun, at least 50k is enough, or I pay some tugs to run it for me, after then I can live with the guilt, because I really don't care anymore now I am so sorry for this very long write-ups, it wasn't intentional.. your advices are needed Thank you.. Worried Girl, Moonlight

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