A Shitty Experience

2

We occasionally have need for a chef in our company, especially when the MD is around in the country. He is based in the UK, you see, and is only around about 3 to 4 times a year. During those times, the MD, who is a foodie, hosts a lot of parties and attends even more on an owambe level. The last chef we had was fired for being a drunk, getting into a drunken fight with a fellow drunk and stabbing him on the bank when he turned to flee the brawl. Akwa Ibomites are known for their top notch culinary skills, however all the chefs we have hired from that area have an inordinate love for ogogoro. There was another who took one of the company vehicles, a 2006 Toyota Camry for a drunken jolly joy ride and crashed the vehicle somewhere around Berger. The cost of repairs was going to be deducted from his salary on a monthly basis, but the fellow unceremoniously stopped coming to work after a month. He was later spotted in traffic selling air fresheners. All these unsavoury experiences with Akwa Ibomites made the company venture outside the shores of the country to far away Benin republic where a citizen of that country, a wiry, baby voiced and camel faced young man by the name of Blaise was hired to replace the lately sacked chef. He came highly recommended and we all had high hopes that we would no longer have embarrassing episodes caused by the regular intoxication of our Nigerian compatriots. Blaise was put on probation, and the MD selected semo and egusi soup for his first food test.

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