Guys, Help Me. I Am Loosing It! I Am Emotionally Tired. I Want To End It.

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Guys, I don't even know where to begin this but i will, somewhere. Truth is, I am tired. I am depressed and something is telling me to end myself. You ever been in a situation where the whole family spends a lot of money, trains you in school, and expect that you get a good job after and reciprocate their good gestures? That's my position right now. But unfortunately, I have not been a able to. I am a young man; early twenties, finished school quite early and really smart (that's what people say.) Ever since I finished the University guys, I have been struggling to get a job, but nothing to show. I am really tired of staying at home here. The whole community knows that I have completed my university education and fact is, they are already mocking my family behind our backs. They are not even hiding it anymore. They laugh at me when I pass by too. What broke the camel's back today was: I applied for a job with a very big company in Lagos. Myself and family already thrown ourselves into positive expectations. I had sold all my hope into it, thinking something good will come out. I went for the test and was sure I did well. Me and my family even prayed over it. Well, the result came out today and I failed. Guys, may be God doesn't hear prayers like people claim, or maybe he doesn't just hear mine. My dad's dead and my mum has been bearing the burden alone. Tonight, I saw my mum's face clearly again and sincerely, this woman is aging fast. She deserves a better life than she is getting and sadly, I cannot come through for her. I'm loosing it guys. I am going insaneeeee!

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