I Am Female Military Personnel In Love With A Civilian But He Isn't Reciprocatin

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Please,kindly ignore any grammatical error. I am a female military personnel dating a civilian in a distance relationship, I'm naturally clingy in a relationship, I love attention alot but my guy is always claiming busy at work ( well understood) but when he's off from work he doesn't give me a satisfied attention because is either he's sleeping,wants to prepare something to eat or already out chilling with a friend and whenever I call when he's out,he will tell me he's in a noisy place and can't talk till he gets home. so,most times I stay awake till 11 pm to get to speak with him before going to bed. I always feel pretty lonely because I'm an introvert,I don't have friends.I really wish to keep another man to serve as a distraction but i find it difficult to because I love wholeheartedly and can only love one man at a time. I cry everytime begging for his attention yet no changes,I feel ashamed that I can't have a grip over my emotions. Right now,I am seriously fade up i dont know what to do any more, i have talked and talked but all fell on blocked ears, he doesnt even feel remorse whenever I complain,he rather defends himself and gives justifications for his actions and even blame me for being inconsiderate and that if I can't cope I should go because he's tired of my incessant complains. I feel stucked in this relationship because i find it difficult to call it quit..i begged him to call it a quit but he said he can't do it,that I can go if that's what I want. please advise me on what to do because I'm dying slowly.

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