1. ) In America most of the tall guys are BASKETBALL players But in Nigeria the tall guys are BOARD CLEANERS... Why na?? 2. ) � �Meanwhile....... � � I killed 2 Igbo mosquitoes today � How did I know they were Igbo?? � � Because they were flying near my wallet � � � � � � � � � � � � 3. ) Some of these girls can't walk pass a cemetery in peace... coz the babies they have aborted will be shouting their names, ”Hey mom wait”. 4. ) Gentlemen No girl is ugly... It's just that some of them look like their fathers. #Lmao** 5. ) The Lies We Sang During Primary School Days. "I Remember When I Was A Soldier"� When Was That Self? 6. ) These days our Naija artists won't kill me… Davido, which one is "Banana fall on you? ” All these girls just dancing to the song up and down, no wahala, until you miss your period after dancing. #Hehehehehehehe** 7. ) It’s only in Nigeria you will tell sum1 how u suffered while growing up and they will reply "u nor suffer reach me", as if suffering is a competition... Na wah o. 8. ) If a man tells you he is not like other men, my sister ask him if he can give birth. #Lol** 9. ) � � My girlfriend � just broke up with me and I feel like killing myself and I ate fried rice,Chicken and and drank juice but nothing happened to me � � Palz what else can I use? � � � � � � 10. ) � �When u see a group of Four girls �& u want to Talk to one, First Greet the Ugly one, �She is d Commander in Chief ✌� � � � � 11. ) I bought Gucci soap for ¢200 and Gucci sponge for ¢350 and since morning, I've been looking for where to bathe for people to see me. 12. ) Attention! Attention!! � � � � ... A cry for help!! � � � Please someone should help me tell the person driving this country *NIGERIA * to stop! I want to come down, am not going again! The best � 13. ) Most Girls Pray For Hardworking men, Yet They Don't Respond To Greetings From labourers. SO Ironic** 14. ) That moment when your battery is at 1% and you see your Boss upload pictures of himself and his family. And wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs" and your battery runs out! My brother Don't even bother explaining, just go look for another job. 15. ) �Girls� of Nowadays don't cry after Break Up�� They behave like Cashiers in the Bank, Next Customer please��������������� 16. ) A man was angry because he had it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walked into a church to steal someone else’s wallet, but later had a change of heart during the service. He confessed to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest then asked, “What made you change your mind? ” The man said, “In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I left my wallet! ” #Lmao** 17. ) Today I saw two blind people fighting then I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away. 19. ) Do u know that MALTINA Has the following vitamins: A, B, B1, B2, B3, B4, B5, C, D...?? Chaiiiiiii... So I’ve been drinking somebody's WAEC result. #Lmao** 20. ) � I keep hearing evry1 saying”who wil b my val? ” � � My question is what happened to ur last year val? Motor jam am? � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 21. ) This heat is too much, you might think the Government has chewed the money meant for the rains too aba, na WA for you ooo 22. ) Hotel Room 80k for 24hours. It's ok I will Sleep with the gateman. 23. ) The way people die on radio during a radio program is so alarming . You will just hear, Hello! hello! Oh we lost him! Nawaoo! 24. ) � Some girls should please try and reduce makeup, especially on valentine… � � � � Yesterday I Kissed a girl on her forehead and it tasted like tiger head battery. 25. ) Beat an African child, console him with biscuit & ask him "Who beat you? " He will point at another person. That's how corruption started in Africa. 26. ) My friend is getting married this Saturday, I was so excited, until I checked the transport fare from Port Harcourt to Lagos, I just remembered that he offended me in JSS 2.