Please Matured Mind I Need Advice ...

25

When I first wrote O level 2014, My step dad said he doesn't have money to further my education,they dropped him from work. I grew up with my step Dad in Delta and he took care of my primary and secondary education, Then I really have interest in becoming a lawyer, and also have interest in politics. then I start working mini jobs to survive since no money , I worked in a bakery , bar , etc , but still no way out. I felt discouraged, I really don't get affected with the 2years I stayed at home then doing odd jobs to survive, 2017 I was chased from my step parents house , Mom is no more and my 4 siblings now see me as mom , i tried my best to make sure they are okay because now they are with step mom and their dad, That same 2017 I called my real Dad n told him I wanna come over to my home town and he told me never to step my foot in my home town in Anambra state due to some certain reasons best know to him, life seem unbearable then I find myself doing things I thought am not gonna do, thinking about how am gonna take care of my siblings n i, I got involved in some crazy stuff, following friends etc, 2018 my gf broke up with me when I told her I really wanna goto school , I was not comfortable with the life I was living, I still keep pushing hoping I can raise money to further my education but all to no avail , 2019 i traveled to Anambra and intend on giving school a try, I sat for jamb , my dad said i should go and study law , i said i can't spend 6years in school anymore bcoz i've wasted lot of years, got 173 in jamb , I felt really disappointed. I told my Dad I wanna school in anambra state , He said over his dead body will I school in oko polytechnic, Then I returned back to Delta state 2020 I got admission to study business administration in a polytechnic , the little money i saved i used it all on textbooks , I try coping but no way, I go for night class tutorials, Got somebody from HND to teach me more by buying him lunch all the time , I sleep over friends house for night class, I find my self each time I read I do not understand much , thinking of how to cope in school with all the fees , then I felt maybe school is no longer for me , I got really scared how am gonna cope , exam is approaching , I know nothing , No night I won't tears in silent. Then I said maybe I should just find something else to do , because I can't waste more years in school.. During the covid my Dad brother was in town and I went to pay him a visit in Onitsha, Getting there I told him what I was facing in school then he suggested I should go and learn trade because am getting old and hr suggested (motor spare parts), then I felt maybe school was no longer for me maybe I should go and learn something else to take care of my siblings and i,During some time my uncle kicked me from his house saying my father did something to him, Before leaving I approach him and said , even if my father has wronged u, I no nothing about it , why the so much hate , Then he said he won't help any family member.. Then i return back to my home town, uptill now the trade i still haven't start it , getting to my home town my real dad said I should go and learn motor mechanic that they use computer to detect fault in a car at NNEWI b4 I talk about trade or business bcus that's when he will support me.. I have no interest in it, going to learn something I've no interest in is like waste of more time to me , My real Dad gave me two option, SCHOOL OR THE MOTOR MECHANIC, am his only son for the now thou, My real Dad has been on the edge for me to goto school,each time he talked about school the feelings of how my step dad took care of my needs, primary and secondary education arises, I never grew up with him, my mom left him when I was still a baby , I just don't know what to do with my life , I feel like ending it all because nothing seem to be interested in this world, M gonna be 25 soon and nothing to show for... Till Date I still have interest in politics, but someone told me , you won't get any seat in political office without a degree.. The Trade I've not yet started , Am considering about pastry/bakery business and the spare spares , I have this love for pastry n bakery business... Please I need advice. Tears..

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