I Am Tired Of Being Like This. Advice Me Pls

103

I don't know why I am just different from everyone. For most of my life I have always been the quiet one in any group even if I wish I could also be free like anyone else. And now I am in the university. I am still the same maybe even worse, I am pratically a loner now. The virtual stuff we are doing is not even helping matter at all. Before I gained admission I have always hoped that university will probably change me, but I am in 200 level now nothing has changed. It's like I don't have that fast thinking to give good replies to conversations (especially Yoruba ). And my friend is like the complete opposite of me; free with everyone, funny, witty with words and stuffs. I can count the number of things I say per day. I just want to get better than this and meet new people. I am going to be 20 next year, yet no babe or even female friends. Shey I even get male sef talkless of female. My parents sef are probably hoping for some changes. One of my Granny's last words to me was 'when will you not be shy again'. I just laughed then but it's really serious to me... No day pass without me thinking about this. I just envy people that are just so fucking good at talking, especially this funny bangers people do ( I am so bad at this. I will probably just bore the person out). The worst part is the way people treat you like a kid just because I don't talk the way, I am supposed to. I am just depressed. Anytime I go out, I always come back depressed, why?. When I see the quality of conversations people have and how fun and confident they are talking. My friend is probably tired of me. Phone calls sef na trouble. No one calls me except my parents. What do I do to be normal, how do I live like others and just enjoy life? I have even thought about taking weed to help me that's how desperate I am. If you have experienced this before please how did you overcome.This is really draining me. I just wanted to let it all out sorry if the post is long.

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