How Do I Handle This Family Issue

27

I crave your indulgence, to advise appropriately. Criticisms are also allowed but in a matured manner. I am the first born of my dad. I am the only child of my mum, but for issues regarding my mum's health, my dad decided to marry another wife who gave birth to four children (2boys and 2 girls). Making us a total of 5 children. My siblings are still very young with the eldest just about 18 years old (a girl). I am almost 29 years old now by December. The story goes thus: My dad was a banker until his death. He established a bar business for my step-mum of which culminated into adultery on her part on several occasions which the family found out. My dad bought a house from the bank only to resell it out and gave the funds (amount unknown) to my step-mum's younger brother to help him build his house in our village. The house was never completed even up till today. Due to the adultery on my step-mum's part, they divorced and my dad took my 4 siblings to stay with his cousin (a female) in our village. I was already in year 1 in the university as at then. My dad travelled to his duty station in the north and was killed in the boko haram crisis. He never returned. I was dejected because my university education could be halted. God raised helpers and my dad's friend paid my fees through the university till I graduated. My dad's younger brother do send monthly stipends to cater for my feeding after my dad's death. 2 of my younger siblings (females) after my dad's death, ran back to meet their mum leaving the other 2 boys. Fast forward after my graduation, there was a need to pursue my dad's death benefits. It was a long walk to freedom. Luckily I had a job that was paying me fairly well @ #50,000 monthly in 2017 while waiting for Nysc. I spent virtually all the salary I earned during that period before nysc pursuing the documentation to access my dad death benefit from the Pension fund administrator (PFA). I left with nothing to the nysc 3 weeks orientation camp. I received the death benefit alert of a little above #3m. I told my uncle about it who happens to be my dad immediate younger brother. He requested I released the money to him to invest into transport business to use it in making more money to finish my late dad's building and also take care of my younger siblings. I didn't make any comment on that request, because I felt it was wrong giving him the money. I rather told him, it is my wish to pursue my MSC immediately after nysc. He said I should work first before going for MSC. (I am someone who keeps silent in the midst of confusions). I checked the estimate of the cost to finish my dad's building , and it was around #2.8m as at that time. I thereafter conditioned in my heart that I will go for my MSC against all odds and see to the higher education of my siblings. The pressure from my uncle got so much I had to cut him off from reaching me for a while. I gave good amount of money to my Kate dad's mother, I gave business money to my late dad's cousin who is taking care of my remaining 2 male siblings with her (to enable her take care of the boys as she transacts business). I also gave that my uncle #220,000 to settle a pressing need he was involved in as at that time. I had to cut him off when the pressure from him to release the funds became too much. Since 2017, I have been catering for my siblings education till now. Oh, my step mum upon discovering that I have collected my dad's gratuity deceived my dads cousin to take the boys to spend holidays with her in Lagos. They never returned to the village. I was never informed of that plan of taking them to Lagos until after they had left. She (my step mum enrolled them in a school in Lagos and called to appeal for funding to pay their fees), I didn't want lots of stories, so I just obliged with a tongue-in-cheek manner. Mind you, before the boys were taken from the village, I enrolled them in a handiwork of their choice and paid heavily for it so that they won't be idle after school to commit nefarious activities that they have often been involved in. This will also help them stand early as men with the way graduates are suffering. Recently, I couldn't effectively meet up with their financial demands on their schooling and feeding due to debts I accumulated during the process of acquiring my MSC (which I've collected my result) and the fact that I lost some other parts of the money to an investment that didn't pull through. I've been insulted by my siblings on many occasions and my step-mum keep reporting me to every one she can think of about my refusal to continue releasing funds when needed for their education. She is also requesting I give her business money, which i obliged that I needed time. Least I forget, I spent quite a lump sum a year ago fencing my dad's land where his building is located and preparing documentation for it due to the fact that some people came up from nowhere that the land belongs to them. I feel like raising back the money remaining and sharing it so everyone can just leave me alone. Kindly advice me on how effective I can handle this situation. Sorry for the long thread. God bless you.

NB: Stories are shared by community members. The article does NOT represent the official view of NaijaWorld and the author is SOLELY RESPONSIBLE for this article
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