Open Letter To Tonto Dikeh..

61

Tonto, How you dey na?? How dat side?? I hail you oh.. My name na MY NAME, You no know me but I know you. I decided to use more of Pidgin English inside this letter so outsiders no go too understand wetin I wan tell you and the advice I wan give you, becoz I no wan make you talk say I dey carry your matter dey go outside. The matter with your ex boyfriend Prince Kpokpogri don tire me. The thing wey tire me the most bi say the issues wey Kpokpogri complained about in that leaked voice notes, na the same things wey your ex husband Churchill complained about.. Unfortunately I neva hear you address the source of the problem, instead you and your fans dey dodge the main issue.. In dat leaked voice, Kpokpogri complained say you dey smoke and drink heavily... Na true?? He don advise you to reduce the smoking but you no wan hear. Na true?? That means the guy himself no dey smoke or drink?? Becoz a smoker no go complain say another person dey smoke... A woman wey dey smoke and drink heavily no bi correct woman, I no sure say dis kind woman go fit make a good wife.. The other day somebody said on naijaworld dat everybody deserves to be happy. I agree! But for you to be happy in your next relationship /marriage, I would advise the following: Tonto, pls marry ANOTHER OF THE SAME KIND! Since you're a heavier smoker, marry someone like yourself who drinks and smokes like fire, and two of you go enjoy the marriage well well.. If you're a husband beater, marry a wife beater. A non-smoker, marry a non-smoker. A peaceful man, marry a peaceful woman. If you dey piss for bed, marry somebody wey dey piss for bed.. If you bi native doctor, marry another of the same kind. As a woman wey dey drink (palm wine), marry a man wey dey drink palm wine.. If you're a prayerful woman, marry a prayerful man. If you're a Christian, marry a Christian. If you bi mammi water, marry a papai water. If you dey snore when you sleep, marry somebody wey dey snore. Tonto, consider wetin I tell you in dis letter b4 going into another relationship, look for ANOTHER OF THE SAME KIND and two of you go enjoy the relationship.. I wish you the best. Sincerely, My Name..

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