Help, I Am Almost Stuck And Disturbed About My Academics

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Good day beautiful people take your time to go thru this because I need your urgent, critical and sincere advise PLEASE!!! in the year 2015,i applied for mass communication in my first jamb, chose unilorin and scored 264, when the post utme came up, I went there to write my exam and also get used to the school environment. The result came out, I scored 63, unfortunately the school didn't use cut off marks for that year's admission requirements, but i was confident i will make the cut for the admission, unfortunately i didn't, omo the thing pain me that year, because every time I checked Facebook, I saw people posting there admission letters from unilorin (i joined a jambite unilorin group on Facebook) and all that, people i did better than in both jamb and post jamb, I later realized I should have greased some palms, this country nawa So i moved on with life, looking forward to the next jamb, while i had already registereed for the next jamb, i got an admission letter from oe polytechnic i ogun state, because i was sad and didnt want to stay at home for another year, i jumped on that admission, my undoing. I did my best in the polytechnic and came out with 3.0cgpa in 2017, unfortunately the school didnt have HND for the course i did. I had planned to do a direct entry to get into a university cos polytechnic wasnt my plan, but i havent been able to secure an admission back to shool since 2017. though i have been working since 2018 to sustain my self, but all my attempts at direct entry were never fruitful, i even applied for HND in another polytechnic, i wasn't picked again, all these have frustrated me to some point i just don't want to try again, go back and perfect my fashion designing craft that maybe school isn't for me, but every year when i see people i know in 'koppa' uniform, i cant help but marvel at them, the smile of accomplishment on their faces, and the desire to go back to school again will be very heavy on my mind like solid frozen eba. all the people i started with are done now, some of my class mates were wise enough to start all over in 2018, now they are almost done with school too, all of these makes me feel like i have been stagnant academically, tho i still read books a lot, i get some online in pdf for easy access. I have the desire to go to any academic length i desire, same thing my mom wants (she asks me evetime what's up with school, u no wan go bac school again ni ) Early this year i applied for HND MASS COMM in yabatech, but Nigerian school system can be vey annoying, there hasn't been any suitable news from that school, even those who got admission since 2019 are still in HND1 due to the lock down and the strike. My School hasn't accredited HND mass comm, so i cant go back there, now Jamb form is on sale i am thinking of registering another course entirely and start from the scratch , but age is no longer on my side, or i should keep waiting for yabatech while i find time to go back to my fashion designing, but i know deep down i want to go beyond just HND OR B.sc kindly help with your advise or suggestions, i am already fed up with everything, Thank you

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