My Experience With A Lady In My Neighborhood

167

Will I Ever Marry Like This? Dear Diary 10: 58 Am Though i take proud in my bachelorhood, there are people's daughter i'm eying religiously. Since attraction moved from height, biceps and muscles to the weight of a man's pocket, it has never been easy for my gender who are still at the lower level of the ladder - needless to talk about those of us insisting on some inbuilt specifications like common sense. Nevertheless, man must push. Just like David patrolled his upper court and sighted Bathsheba; i patrolled my neighborhood this Sunday morning and sighted a lady i have always craved her indulgence. Unlike Bathsheba, she wasn't bathing but tottering to refill her gas. I waited for our eyes to meet and when it did happened; I launched my first attack; i flashed her a quick smile. She mirrored my behaviour. "Can i help you with that?" I asked still smiling. "Yes, please!" She responded. That was the beginning of my omen. I carried her blue 12kg cylinder exactly the way i suspect Arsenal club would carry any trophy if they ever get close to one. I trashed that 'One Step at a time' rule of engagement and went all out to pour my heart. The connection was quick that before we arrived the gas filling point, we were already bonding like Lai Mohammed and his inseparable affection to lies - read as Lai's. She said it was mutual. "Oga welcome." A middle aged man greeted. "Good Morning." We responded. After a brief chitchat, he began refilling the cylinder and i continued my love sermon. Her depth amazed me. I already felt that relationship vibe not until the man beckoned on me that he was done. There was this momentary pause then i realized that the society awaits me to prove myself a man and consolidate my love. Aunty acted oblivious of the moment and continued with our gist - I played along. Again, the man called. "Oga, your money na 10,800naira. 1kg na 900. Na you dey pay or your madam." He asked I couldn't tell if it was the annoyance about the hiking of gas price or the assumption of us as couples or Jessica's silence over the payment that set me off. I ranted about gas price hiking, APC, Buhari, Nigerian politicians and a background story of how i just began talking to the lady few minutes ago and about to spend 10, 800naira. This country will not drive me insane. Jessica paid for her gas and insisted she has to carry her cylinder. Right now, i don't know how to resume the Love Sermon with Jessica. E no go better for this administration. ©CHUKS-OSSYLA (2021)

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